Hotel Artemis


Directed By: Drew Pearce
Starring: Jodie Foster, Sofia Boutella, Sterling K. Brown, Jeff Goldblum, Brian Tyree Henry, Jenny Slate, Charlie Day, Zachary Quinto,
Rating: R
Grade: B-

On June 21, 2028, after riots break out in Los Angeles over the privatization of water availability, a group of thieves take advantage of the chaos by robbing a bank and taking personal items off of those present. When they’re injured while fleeing, they go to a place called Hotel Artemis, an anonymous members-only hospital that caters only to the criminal element, and run by a woman named Nurse Jean and her orderly/security, Everest. The two thieves whose membership is up to date are allowed in and given the code names Waikiki and Honolulu to be treated under. As his brother recuperates, Waikiki wanders through the public areas of the hospital, where he meets Acapulco, an arms dealer, and Nice, an assassin, both recovering from their own injuries. However, as time passes, Waikiki examines the personal items taken off the bank patrons, and realizes that one of the items was more than it seemed. Desperate to escape a notorious crime boss, he attempts to leave, but finds himself trapped as his brother still requires medical care, and both the riots and the crime boss, who was injured in an attempt on his life, are drawing closer.

The concept for this movie is interesting, and the cast is stellar, however, neither one of those things can save it from the painfully mediocre execution (no pun intended). While the actors all seem to be having fun with their roles, the dialogue can get clunky in places. There also seems to be a mess of storylines that converge (I probably could have done a half a page on the plot alone, and left some of the story out for the sake of moving forward), which results in the plot dragging in some places and moving too fast in others. It also seems entirely possible that a place like the hotel might actually exist. Since a number of the cast usually play the “good guy,” a lot of the performances waver between gleefully evil and over the top cheesy, while those playing the more neutral characters tend to be bland and a bit phoned in.

The few special effects used are done well, and any background filler isn’t noticeable.

Anyone looking for a little escapist fun with some time to waste should enjoy this movie. The cast does their best to make the most of what they’re given, and as stated before, seem to be enjoying themselves for the most part. You may want to pay closer attention the first time you watch it, but after that, it should easily suffice as background filler. There’s a ton of language and violence, so parents may want to watch it before letting small children see it.

Hotel Artemis is currently only available free to stream if you have Amazon Prime, but it can be rented through Redbox and Netflix home delivery, or purchased at any participating store or on-line retailer.
I’m always looking for new things to watch/read, so if you have a suggestion for me, just let me know!