Valerian

Valerian

Valerian and the City of A Thousand Planets

Directed By: Luc Besson
Starring: Dane DeHaan, Cara Delevenge, Clive Owen, Rihanna, Ethan Hawke
Rated: PG-13
Grade: D+

Valerian is a busy, confusing, hectic mess in which the main characters stumble across bits plot while chasing after each other in attempt to rescue the other from a string of life-threatening situations.  The movie is based on the French graphic novel series “Valérian and Laureline”.

Neither DeHaan nor Delevenge has a charm or star power to anchor such an ambitious movie, and the fact that the actors look so young makes it seem as though they’re teenagers cosplaying with friends in someone’s basement, and the more seasoned actors (Owen and Hawke) seem to be confused and/or embarrassed as to what they’re there.

Valerian (DeHaan) is supposed to be an intergalactic fuckboy with a list of conquests large enough to paper the hulls of his ship, unfortunately, the actor isn’t Hollywood-attractive enough to pull off playing such a character.  Laureline (Delevenge) isn’t given much to do other than be the occasional damsel-in-distress and arch her eyebrows at Valerian’s antics.  There’s an entire section of the movie dedicated to Rihanna’s character Bubble, a shape-shifting exotic dancer who’s mostly a plot device and is probably meant to instill a sense of sympathy for the non-human characters in the film, but it isn’t necessary, and her inclusion seems to mostly be a way to get the singer/actress on screen in a series of skimpy fetish outfits for her introductory scene.

By the time the movie actually gets the plot, a.k.a., the reason Valerian and Laureline are on Alpha, the City of a Thousand Planets from the title, which was lovingly introduced in the beginning of the movie with David Bowie’s ‘Space Oddity,’ the viewer likely won’t care enough to be invested in the outcome since, as stated before, the actual plot is spread so thinly across the entire movie you’ve likely forgotten about it by the next time they mention it.

That’s not to say that the movie is entirely without merit.  The visuals are interesting to look at, especially the scenes on Mül (pronounced mule) and the sequence when they’re introducing Alpha and showing the various habitats.  However, that’s not enough to make this something to watch when you’re not bored or too busy to care about the plot of what’s on.

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Gotham by Gaslight

GothamByGaslight

Batman: Gotham by Gaslight

Directed By: Sam Liu
Starring: Bruce Greenwood, Jennifer Carpenter, Scott Patterson, Tara Strong, et.al.
Rated: R
Grade: A-

Batman gets the Victorian treatment in this DC Animated Universe movie which pits the titular hero against Gotham’s version of Jack the Ripper.  Gotham by Gaslight is somewhat based on the DC graphic novel of the same name, though there are some characters appearing in the movie that aren’t in the comic, which I only know because I looked it up.

The movie itself is well-made.  Though likely animated by computer, it was done to look hand-drawn, which seems more fitting to the subject matter.  There’s lots of blood and violence, as well as some implied sex, so parents should be wary, because it definitely earns its R rating.

While dealing with the upcoming turn of the century, and planning a World’s Fair for Gotham, the city is struck with a series of murders done by a man calling himself Jack the Ripper, putting police and citizens on edge.  Naturally, Batman is there to investigate, as well as a smattering of other familiar characters from traditional Batman lore.  The story keeps you engaged and guessing, and when the identity of the Ripper is revealed, it’s a genuine surprise.

Fans of the DC supplemental films should be happy with this movie.  Even casual viewers shouldn’t be disappointed, as long as you’re willing to step outside the traditional Batman storylines.  All in all, great view.
It’s not available to stream anywhere yet, but if you can find it cheap somewhere, it’d be worth putting in the money to purchase/rent.